Hey man - I hope you were able to solve this because I've had this exact problem - finder crashes connecting to a mac mini running server - for about two months and it was driving me CRAZY. BUT, I just managed to fix it (based on an article I found at: http://www.thexlab.com/faqs/finder.html)
Delete the Finder preferences using Terminal by:
Open Terminal, located in the Applications > Utilities folder.
Delete the primary Finder preferences file:
At the Terminal prompt, type the following command exactly as written
rm ~/Library/Preferences/com.apple.finder.plist Press Return.
Now delete the preferences for the Finder Sidebar:
At the Terminal prompt, type the following command exactly as written:
rm ~/Library/Preferences/com.apple.sidebarlists.plist
Press Return.
Restart the computer
Empty the Trash.
Hoped this helped you, and all credit is due to the XLab guy/girl.